|
My
Response to Critics
Dear
Friend,
If my
parental decisions regarding John's obsession
with wrestling disturb you I would like you to
read the following response I have
prepared. Make no mistake, I love my son
dearly or else this website would not have been
founded. I want to help parents like
myself gain a better understanding of these
disorders and conditions so we can make more
intelligent parental decisions and become better
parents once we understand our children have
little control over these disorders and
conditions.
When
John first started watching wrestling it was
much tamer than it is today. There was no
profanity that was aired during matches nor any
public display of scantly clad women that
accompanies wrestlers to their events. I
am a business professional and partner in a
Houston-based oil and gas consultancy. I
can assure you that John did not develop this
obsession by observing what his father was
interested in, because I have little interest in
this so-called sport. Had it been as
distasteful when John was younger as it has now
become, I would have intervened and stopped his
practice of watching these events.
Instead,
once I recognized that John had become obsessed
with the sport I decided to give it some time to
see if it would cause problems in his
life. I wanted to ensure that it did not
make him violent or turn him into some sort of
bully. Neither has occured, and in many
ways John could be described as gentle with a
loving heart. He could type 18 words for a
minute, hated English, had a poor vocabulary and
would never dream of writing a story when he
discovered the "role play" script
writing on the Internet. Now he's typing
about 45 words per minute, is constantly looking
up new words in a thesaurus to add "big
words" to his story lines, and is using his
imagination to write multiple page stories that
run 200 to 800 lines long.
He
would prefer doing this to going out with some
of his peers who have turned to drinking beer
and experimenting with drugs. I know these
kids, the same ones I coached in little league
soccer and tee-ball. Now they've grown up,
but have not matured. John was invited to
a party not long ago. He was gone
for about 30 mintues and came back, stating
"They were drinking beer and several were
smoking dope (all at the house of a friend whose
parents were inside). I told them this
wasn't for me and I was going home."
I would much rather be writing to my wrestling
friends on the Internet.
Sure,
John's obsession is not all good, but its not
all bad either. It has caused no harm and
can best be described as an obsessive
hobby. John gets professional counseling
and this has not become an issue that worries
his doctor. As a father, I believe there
is both "give" and "take" in
raising kids. I certainly don't believe in
giving-in to everything a child wants.
John would describe me as very stern father who
will take instant and swift measures when he
does something wrong. I feel that one has
to know his or her child, determine their
strengths, weakneses and maturity level and then
decide if their child should refrain from
practicing an obsessive hobby or practice, or
allow it to continue to see if the child can
work through the obsession without being harmed,
hurt or fall into trouble.
|
